My Status? Funny You Should Ask...

Okay anyone who knows me is aware that I have a major Facebook addiction.  I'm on Facebook before work, on break, after work, various times during the day...oh heck, I'm on it ALL THE TIME!  Here are a few of my all time favorite statuses that I have used over the years.  Some funny, some with underlying meaning...they are just words and quotes that I adore or sparked some feedback from friends that made me laugh. 

*~is currently in the process of getting her groove back. Please standby!
*~loves her Crazy/Random/Demented/Socially Challenged friends :)
*~I think my sister misses her twin boys...she's comparing pretzels to find twins.
*~is having a life moment where I want to pause and yell "SERIOUSLY?!"
*~is looking 4 the "Bite Me" button...
*~ hit a parked car while texting today. What's even sadder was that I was WALKING.
*~wants to stomp her feet, throw herself to the ground and start yelling "I don't wanna go back to work." Ahhh yes the power of a good hissy fit...
*~Sorry, I can't go to hell...restraining order.
*~I consider it a good sign that some people don't like me, that means that I am strong and secure enough about myself not to waver my beliefs for someone else.
*~learned something new today, my husband has an opinion...who woulda thought? After 22 years all of a sudden he decides that his opinion matters? Sheesh...pray for him. :D
*~ is disenchanted with this being an adult thing. Had to leave the party to come home and be a parent. Sheesh!
*~ darn ice cream truck and your hyptmotizing music!
*~has the best hubby in the world! (shhh don't disturb him right now with applause or anything...he's scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom floors at the moment)
*~to err is to be human, to really screw up takes talent, and to blame it on someone else shows Management potential!
*~I still have a coke bottle figure, I have simply upgraded from a 20 oz to a 2 liter. :D
*~has bleacher butt
*~just loves the fact that she's married to the Creature from the black Lagoon.
*~welcome to hell...I'll be your tour guide today.
*~since I have now had my coffee I'm full of all kinds of awesomeness and kickassness. (Yes, I just added "ness" to those words because I think it sounds cooler that way) ♥ Starbucks!
*~Hates those motion sensor air fresheners. Every time I go to sniff them they spray me. :)
*~just saw a shooting star...or a crashing plane.  It was one of the two.
*~OK I am not one to brag..but I think I deserve a medal! I just rescued an ice cream bar that was trapped in the freezer!
*~is going on the pronunciation diet today. If I can't pronounce the ingredients, then I'm not going to eat it. I can feel my vocabulary expanding already.
*~ so happy dinner is finally ready...It sure does take a long time for jello shots to set huh?
*~Life is too short to sort socks~that's what sock baskets are for. ♥
*~Another day, another chance to take over the world! *EVIL LAUGH* I must drink coffee and get my fuzzy piggy slippers on first; I'll keep you posted on how my takeover goes.
*~is not afraid to admit that I'm eating a bologna sandwich. Cuz I'm cool like that.
*~ I`m in a meeting, trying to fix a wedgie without anyone noticing. Just sayin'
*~hmm should I be worried that I just got a text from my 19 year old son asking where the bucket is that we use to scrub floors?
*~after reading many of my friends status' I have came to the conclusion, you're all nuts.. nice one, knew you were my friends for a reason :D
*~Pledge & wood floors = the classic Tom Cruise slide across the living room. :D
*~life is all bout ass .. you're either kissing it, covering it, working it off, trying 2 get a piece of it or behaving like one...so I raise my coffee and I'm wishing you a kick ass day !
*~if you really want to know the truth, i think that "whatever" actually means "I love you" in teenager talk.
*~wants to get chocolate wasted.
*~has the entire house to myself and I have taken over the "man-cliner" and remote. Nobody to stop me from watching non-HD either! Living the High Life!
*~Spooning leads to forking...use condiments.
*~is workin' my moneymaker ♥
*~...today, my Indian name is "Runs Naked Through House." Don't ask.