Sunday, March 27, 2011

Free Parent's Choice Formula Sample

Free sample: Try a free sample of Parent's Choice Formula.

How to get it: Select which type of formula you would like to try (either Premium or Advantage™) and fill out a short form to request your sample.

Free HealthiDent Dog Treats Sample

Free sample: Get a free sample of HealthiDent Dog Treats.

How to get it: Click the "Get Your Sample" button and fill out a short form on the Walmart Web site.

Free Quaker Oatmeal Squares!

Free Quaker Oatmeal Squares

Free sample: Get a free sample box of Quaker Oatmeal Squares for up to 10 friends.

How to get it: This sample is being offerred again. Click the "Start sharing button" and fill out up to 10 friends' e-mail addresses (you can put in your own e-mail). Then, watch your inbox for an e-mail from Quaker; you'll be asked to fill out your mailing address for your free Quaker Oatmeal Squares sample. Please note: If you have recently requested this sample you may not be allowed to do so again.

Free Dove Daily Treatment Conditioner

Free sample: Free Sample of Dove® Daily Treatment Conditioner in either Intensive Repair or Daily Moisture formula (your choice).

How to get it: Dove® is offering this sample again! Just select which sample you would like to receive and fill out a short form on the Dove® site to request your sample.

Free Cheese Fondue at The Melting Pot - April 11th - 14th


The Melting Pot restaurants are offering free cheese fondue to guests April 11th - 14th in celebration of National Cheese Fondue Day. The cheese fondue course (serves two people) is valued around $14 per selection (prices vary per location). Reservations are required and limited, but no purchase is necessary to participate in this event. NOTE: You must make a reservation for your free fondue. Click the 'Reservation' tab at the top of the page.

April 22nd - Free Starbucks Drink When You Bring a Reusable Cup

On April 22nd to celebrate Earth Day Starbucks is offering a free coffee or tea when you bring in your reusable mug. They've offered this freebie for quite a few years now and it's a great incentive to reuse your mug. This is in Canada....not sure if US will be offering or not, check into it!

Click here to check availability

Free Beech-Nut Starter Kit

Free sample: Get a free Starter Kit from Beech-Nut®, which includes 2 free jars of baby food and a coupon for a free box of cereal.

How to get it: To request your Starter Kit, sign up for the Beech-Nut® monthly eNewsletter by filling out a short form on the Beech-Nut® site.

* Request your free Starter Kit from Beech-Nut® while supplies last!

Free Victoria's Secret Bombshell Perfume


Free Sample of Victoria's Secret Bombshell Perfume.

Up to $4.75 off Finish Products

Free Taster's Choice Sample

Carefree Sample or Coupon




Sign up to get a free sample of Carefree products or a coupon.  You choose, both come via mail.

Free Sample of Dove Ultimate Deodorant

Free Sample of Dove Moisturizer

Free Sample of Dove Moisturizer with Self Tanner.   Once you’ve completed the form you should see a pop up that says “Gracias por participar” - which means thank you for participating (and your sample is on its way!)

Free Sample of Miracle Whip

Sign up for free samples of Miracle Whip on You Tube. Yes, that’s right. You Tube.

Free Sample of Cream of Nature Shampoo

Get a Free sample of Cream of Nature Shampoo (Sunflower and Coconut) on Facebook.

Free Eucerin Sample (Facebook offer)

"Like" Eucerin on their Facebook page and receive a free sample of  Daily Skin Balance Lotion

Free Poise Sample Kit


You can request a FREE sample kit from Poise that includes a Poise Liner, a Poise Long Liner, an Ultra Thin Pad and a high value coupon.

Free Sample Arm & Hammer Toothpaste

Click on the link below
Try Arm & Hammer Advance White Toothpaste for FREE   You will receive an email from them to verify your address, if you do not verify it, they will not send the sample.

FREE SAMPLE* of Vaseline® Intensive Rescue

Join the Dry Skin Rescue Mission! Banish skin that itches, flakes or feels rough with Vaseline® Intensive Rescue®. Complete the form to receive a free sample* of Vaseline® Intensive Rescue®.

Walmart Free Samples

Did you know Walmart offers free samples from their suppliers through their website?  Bookmark and Check this link periodically to find the latest offers from Walmart Suppliers.

Free Sample of Kotex Tampons/Pads

Just fill out a Marketing Survey and receive a free sample of Kotex Tampons/Pads

Hurry Free Mascara Offer expires 4/7/11

Free Sample of Purex Complete with Zout Detergent

Request your Free Sample Purex Complete With Zout Detergent. Or, instead you can print an instant $1.50 coupon if you wish.

Free Sample of Shout Color Catcher (Facebook offer)

Head over to Facebook and “Like” the Shout Facebook Page and you’ll be able to sign up for a free sample of Shout Color Catcher.

Free Uncle Ben’s Ready Rice!

Head over to sign up to receive a FREE full-sized pouch of Uncle Ben’s Ready Rice. Just look for the Uncle Ben’s coupon offer and click on it.

Free Zantac Offer

Request your FREE Maximum Strength Zanta 150 sample pack.


Sunday, March 13, 2011

We've Come a LONG Way Baby!

From a 1950's high school home economics textbook, teaching girls how to prepare for married life. 
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time.

This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
(I admit 4 out of 5 days a week I still do make dinner)
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.
He has just been with a lot of work- weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
(if I was anymore gay or interesting when my husband came home from work....he might not come home!)

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
(rest and order...in this house??? Hahahhahahahahaha...I work, remember???)
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes.
They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
(Prepare the children??? PUHLEASE!!)
5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
(Sorry, this is the noisiest time of the day at my house!  I have things that need to get done!)
6. Things to avoid: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner.
Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
(pshhhh, I'm hitting him with my best shot when I hear that door open!)
7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.
Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
(offer to take off his shoes??? He should have taken them off BEFORE he walked in the house!)
8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.  (hahahahahaha....no chance in hell that is gonna happen!!!)
9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
(his world of strain and pressure??? Hmmmm I'm going out with the girls and leaving him with the kids!)10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.
(oh please, he get's plenty of time in his recliner, with the TV...which by the way he can still seem to tune us all out with)
 
 

Daylight Saving Time

Did you remember to Spring Ahead?  Just thought I'd share a little info about "Why" we have Daylight Saving time.

During late Winter we move our clocks one hour ahead and "lose" an hour during the night and each Fall we move our clocks back one hour and "gain" an extra hour. But Daylight Saving Time (and not Daylight Savings Time with an "s") wasn't just created to confuse our schedules.

The change to Daylight Saving Time allows us to use less energy in lighting our homes by taking advantage of the longer and later daylight hours. During the eight-month period of Daylight Saving Time, the names of time in each of the time zones in the U.S. (map) change as well. Eastern Standard Time (EST) becomes Eastern Daylight Time, Central Standard Time (CST) becomes Central Daylight Time (CDT), Mountain Standard Time (MST) becomes Mountain Daylight Time (MDT), Pacific Standard Time becomes Pacific Daylight Time (PDT), and so forth.





YearSpring ForwardFall Back
20042 a.m. April 42 a.m. Oct. 31
20052 a.m. April 32 a.m. Oct. 30
20062 a.m. April 22 a.m. Oct. 29
20072.a.m. March 112 a.m. Nov. 4
20082 a.m. March 92 a.m. Nov. 2
20092 a.m. March 82 a.m. Nov. 1
20102 a.m. March 142 a.m. Nov 7
20112 a.m. March 132 a.m. Nov. 6
20122 a.m. March 112 a.m. Nov. 4
20132 a.m. March 102 a.m. Nov. 3
20142 a.m. March 92 a.m. Nov. 2
20152 a.m. March 82 a.m. Nov. 1
20162 a.m. March 132 a.m. Nov. 6


History of Daylight Saving Time

Daylight Saving Time was instituted in the United States during World War I in order to save energy for war production by taking advantage of the later hours of daylight between April and October. During World War II the federal government again required the states to observe the time change. Between the wars and after World War II, states and communities chose whether or not to observe Daylight Saving Time. In 1966, Congress passed the Uniform Time Act, which standardized the length of Daylight Saving Time.
Daylight Saving Time is four weeks longer since 2007 due to the passage of the Energy Policy Act in 2005. The Act extended Daylight Saving Time by four weeks from the second Sunday of March to the first Sunday of November, with the hope that it would save 10,000 barrels of oil each day through reduced use of power by businesses during daylight hours. Unfortunately, it is exceedingly difficult to determine energy savings from Daylight Saving Time and based on a variety of factors, it is possible that little or no energy is saved by Daylight Saving Time.
Arizona (except some Indian Reservations), Hawaii, Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and American Samoa have chosen not to observe Daylight Saving Time. This choice does make sense for the areas closer to the equator because the days are more consistent in length throughout the year.

Jeromy's 6 !!!

It's hard to believe our little Jer bear has already turned 6!  This year he decided that he didn't want a big party, he just wanted to hang out, go bowling, and have dinner out with the family.  Oh, and don't forget the Ice Cream Cake!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I Love you Jim Nikolai! :)

Jim and Charlene
I wanted to take the time to write to you and tell you just how much you mean to me and how very much I love you. It is very seldom that I have extra time to think about how wonderful you are, so while I was enjoying the quiet of the morning I thought I should share.

You have amazing qualities that all women look for.

You believe in truth. I feel that you do what is right, not for reward or acknowledgment, but for purpose. You are, as they say, "a stand up kind of guy". I can trust what you say and do because I know that you have strong convictions and your word is binding. Our kids do benefit greatly from you in this regard. You do set a wonderful example for them.

Your humor never ceases to amaze me. I have never met a person so willing to find humor in almost everything (and I mean EVERYTHING!!) I laugh when I'm with you and I smile when I think about you. I miss that when you are not home. You give me a reason to enjoy life everyday and I thank you for that.


Nathan, Hunter, Brittany and Jeromy
 Your endless knowledge. I never thought I would find a man smarter than I that I could stand to be around. LOL!! I learn form you even when you're not trying to teach me. You are always so patient, much, much more patient than I will ever be. This quality makes you invaluable as a father and a friend.
Your unending calm. I find that even when I'm panicking about even the smallest thing, you are there to soothe my fears and worries. You are a great comfort to me. You see the logical side of a problem and know how to explain it to me with out being belittling.

Your faith in my abilities. When I falter in my faith in myself, you're there to help me see the good in me. You're my rock when I really need it. You help me to see how much I can accomplish even when all I can think about is failure. I thank you for that.

Your dignity. You are proud of who you are and what you do. You refuse to lower you own expectations in order to raise the level of what you expect from others. You are proud without being prideful.

Your sensitive nature. You have compassion for all and you are truly affected by injustice and wrong-doing. You will do anything for anyone, listen to me complain, are always the first one to apologize even when it wasn't your fault, and you never let me down.

Your good looks. I find you more attractive now than the first day we met at the lake...oh so many years ago (it's probably that whole beard thing.) I am proud to call you my husband for the reasons stated above and because you're just damn "hot" baby! You have the most beautiful features and that helps to make beautiful babies.

You are a spectacular person, husband and father. I only wish that I could convey how much I love and respect you in a more meaningful way. I don't take for granted that not only am I lucky, but also blessed to have you as my husband and friend. You are my heart, Jim. I want to spend every day of the rest of our lives showing you the love that I have for you. We will look back and be able to see how our relationship has grown and evolved. You make me want to be a better person just being around you.

Love,
Char

Charlene's "Secret" Banana Bread Recipe

1 C Sugar
1 Stick of Butter -room temperature
2 eggs - room temperature
4 REALLY ripe Bananas
2 Medium ripe Bananas
1 2/3- 2 C flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 ENTIRE package of chocolate chips
NO NUTS

Cream butter and sugar.  Add eggs until blended.  Add your REALLY ripe bananas and mix until it is all liquified.  Add your two ripe bananas in chunks and beat a minute...you WANT small chunks in the batter.   Stir in remaining dry ingredients until moistened.  Add chocolate chips and bake in 2 loaf pans at 350 for about an hour.  Toothpick test works best. 

Italian Sausage Soup


1 lb ground Italian sausage
1½ tsp crushed red peppers
1 large diced onion
4-5 strips of cooked bacon chopped in pieces
2 tsp garlic chopped fine
10 cups chicken stock
1-2 carrots, chopped
1-2 stalks celery, chopped
3-5 large potatoes, cubed
¼ of a bunch of kale (we use a full bunch of cilantro in place of Kale, but both are good, just make sure you chop into small pieces ...this can also be ommitted entirely)

Saute onions, celery and carrot, until onion is just turning translucent.  Add sausage, garlic and crushed red pepper and chop up as it is cooking (like you would hamburger for tacos) cook until browned.  Add bacon pieces, chicken stock, Kale (or cilantro) and potatoes.  Simmer until potatoes are tender.   Serves 4-6

Easy Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas


1 pkg of burrito sized flour tortillas
2 - 28 oz cans of  Enchilada sauce (I use the Red La Victoria-Mild)
4-5 chicken breasts
Garlic powder
1 pkg (12 oz) Mexican blend shredded cheese
1 lb Mozzerella shredded cheese (reserve 1/2 for top of enchiladas)
Chopped Cilantro

Sprinkle garlic powder over top and bottom of chicken breasts and cook in non-stick skillet until done.  Let cool so you can handle them and cut into long strips like fajitas.

Coat the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish (I prefer glass versus metal) with enchilada sauce about 1/4" deep...so they won't stick.

Enchilada assembly.  Take tortilla and sauce it like a pizza on one size with enchilada sauce.  On one end, add generous amounts of chicken and cheeses and chopped cilantro, roll up and put seam side DOWN in pan.  Repeat making enchiladas until the pan is full. It is best to squish them in the pan.  Pour the remaining enchilada sauce over all of the enchiladas, and sprinkle your reserved mozzerella over the top.  Cover with aluminum foil and bake in the oven at 350 for about 45 minutes until heated through and all the cheese is melted. 

Kenosha Merchants U14 at Simmons Field for 2011

Kenosha's Simmons Field (located at 7817 Sheridan Road, Kenosha, WI) formerly was home to the Midwest League's Kenosha Twins from 1985-1992, but the most famous team to call Kenosha home was the Kenosha Comets of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League from 1943-51. Simmons Field, built in the early 1930s, became home to professional baseball once again with the arrival of the former DuBois County Dragons franchise after the 2002 season.
In 2007, ownership of Simmons Field was transferred from the Kenosha Parks Department to the Kenosha Unified School District. The district has since leased the field to the Kenosha Simmons Baseball Organization (KSBO), a non-profit group working to upgrade and restore the stadium. Initial improvements included a rebuilt infield, which was completed in the fall of 2007, and a new electronic scoreboard behind left field.

Today, Simmons Field continues to be called home by various Kenosha recreational and amateur baseball teams, including the Kenosha Merchants.

Despite its changes through the years, Simmons Field retains its classic feel. The historic grandstand behind home plate looks much like it did during the days of the AAGPBL and still evokes memories of the baseball greats who played in front of it. Indeed, Simmons Field is believed to be the last remaining field in its original configuration from the days of the AAGPBL.

Take a seat in the genuine wood box seats, listen to a train running on the tracks adjacent to right field, and you will feel yourself in an unmistakable old-time baseball atmosphere.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Facts of Life--- A Man's "Role"

Guys, there are so many things that are counter intuitive when it comes to the signals that a woman gives versus what they want, or what you think is the right thing to do versus what the actual right thing to do is. Listed below are a few obvious points, take it or leave it, but you should at least read it once.

When she walks away mad, she isn't looking for space, she wants you to follow. I know, it doesn't make sense, but trust me, that's what she wants.

If she isn't saying anything, ask her what's wrong, and here is the important part, after you ask her, you are now done needing your mouth, just shut up and use your ears the rest of the time.

When she tries to hit you and pushes you acting playfully like she can take you, she wants you to hold her.

Hold doors, pull out chairs, stand up when she arrives and every time she gets up..it's just what you do for a lady, and something you should pass on to your sons too.

You will most likely not remember the most important things she will never forget.

She wants to hear about it, but don't tell her about something you aren't going to do. Nut up or Shut up.

She likes poetry, especially if you write it just for her. Stay away from rhyming words like truck and clock.

She may love you through it all, but she doesn't like excuses, over deliver, she's happy, you're happy.

When she is yelling at you and calling you names, look her in the eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her like you might never get to again. If she goes back to yelling, you need to brush your teeth more often and work on your kissing.

If she doesn't like something you love, ask questions. But don't use those questions to try and change her mind, use those questions to understand why she feels the way she does. Don't worry, in almost all cases if you just listen and let her know you understand, she will end up liking you enough to like what you like.

When you see her at her worst, let her know she is beautiful. Done sincerely you will win her heart, done sarcastically..well,talk to the hand, no not hers, yours...the one that will act as your girlfriend for at least a week for being an idiot.

When she spends time getting dressed up, be sure you spend time noticing and letting her know how stunning she truly is.

Encourage and support her friendships and her individualism. I know you worry that this beauty you don't think you even deserve will meet someone else during "Girls Night Out". Just know if you sincerely tell her to have a good time without any guilt she is going to miss you when she's out, if you're an ass about it, she will be looking for someone better...and rightfully so.

Sing to her, no matter how bad it sounds, sing her your song.

Don't let a month go by that you don't surprise her with something that is special and meaningful. Not a vacuum or a tool belt, lingerie is great, but not every time, flowers should be a part of the weekly routine anyway, be creative, she will notice and appreciate it in ways you won't understand.

Date night is important, don't be the guy the always gets his hunting, card playing,  drinking with the buddies and fishing in, but never takes the misses out. It just doesn't pay.

If you see she is scared, as silly as it may be to you, don't laugh or make fun of her, just make her feel safe, it is the difference between what a boy would do and what a man does.

Get a calendar, know when that time is coming, know when it is upon you, know how to act accordingly during said times.

If you see her crying, don't speak, just hold her and listen. You might be able to fix a car or program a DVR, but you are not equipped to talk her through something she just needs to cry out. Again, shut up and just listen, it works.

Whatever clothes she takes of yours, let her keep. This means she wants to be close to you when you're not there. Don't wear her clothes though, that's just weird.

When she doubts you, don't argue with her...ever. You will never get out alive.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Chocolate Decadence French Toast

Norma’s is a special occasion restaraunt in New York City-not just because of the prices but also because  I don't think anyone could never eat food this rich every day. Introducing the infamous Chocolate decadence French Toast (they charge $23). They make the French Toast with home made yogurt chocolate cake-it is rich but not overwhelming. It is sliced from a loaf and then made like traditional french toast soaked in an egg wash and fried.  It is served as cake topped with a layer of strawberries, then another slice of cake, then strawberries and then cake. The strawberries are cooked in a little bit of butter and brown sugar and some Grand Marnier. The dish is finished off with some pistachios and a dark chocolate sauce (dark chocolate, doesn’t that make this a healthy choice?). They add some home made whipped cream and an orange chip.
I'm off to figure out a homemade version!!! Hey you only live once!   

Friday, November 26, 2010

Happy 72nd Birthday Daddy!

On what would be your 72nd Birthday
11/26/1938 - 12/17/2006
Almost four years have passed
but I’ll never forget the day
When the doctor came to tell me
That you’d gone away

The hurt is the same
Like an open wound
There are days
I don’t utter a sound

You were like a rock
Strong, faithful and true
What worth has my life
Now I don’t have you

I was your first born
Daddy’s little girl
I took my own path
But was still part of your world

I was not the best
Guilty of neglect
But you know daddy dearest
I had so much respect

I always loved you
My dad, my star
Now my pain is
To worship you from afar

I love you now
As I did back then
I just hope... one day
I will see you again

I am so proud of you
Brave and strong to the end
Now when asked “how are you?”
There is no need to pretend

Happy 72nd Birthday Dad.
We all love and miss you so much, sleep well
and take care of all who went before you.

Forever in my heart,
 Cissy






Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sexy Thanksgiving Story

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own.
Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & through the door.

Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts. Slowly I remove what wraps around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender white skin.

From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms, to the warm water that awaits.

The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin.

My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body.

I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door.

As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I.

I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in.

I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight. With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it,

I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender.

I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good.

Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste.

"Oh yes", I say to you,

I must say Grace "Thank God for Butterball turkey.... Amen"

Thanksgiving Cranberry Slaughter - JibJab.com

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Gary Allan - Best I Ever Had

Chris Cagle - Anywhere But Here

Could You Live Like a 1950s Housewife?

Do you dream of a time in the 1950's when rock and roll was just coming on the scene and every girls dream was of her wedding? Well here are a few tips if you want to relive that period of time as the fantasy housewife.

Things You'll Need:

  • Lot's of energy.
  • No opinion.
  • Talent in every area.
1) As a housewife of the 1950's you won't be required to hold a job outside the home. In fact you really won't be allowed to because it would be an insult to the male of the family for not being able to provide for his wife and family! So relax and buy a box of bonbon' s.

2) Always wake at least two hours before your husband so you can shower, do your hair, put on make up and a really nice dress and high heels. You must always look your best when he see' s you first thing in the morning and never, ever have morning breath or look sleepy.

3) Next cook a nourishing breakfast for the whole family. Stuff them with eggs, bacon, biscuits made from scratch, gravy, milk, orange juice and don't forget the perfect jams and jellies you canned all by yourself during the dog days of summer. Stuff them until they can't move and are sure to gain enough weight to be a battle ship in dry dock.

4) Be sure when they are getting ready for work and their school day you have clean clothes out for everyone. Do not make them choose their own outfit. Silly woman, that's your job! Always make sure they are wearing the latest up to date styles so everyone will think they are keen.

5) Be sure you pack a good lunch for them. For the kid's pack a good sandwich, chips, carrot sticks, cupcakes, fruit, a thermos of milk and a thermos of hot soup! Don't forget the note with words of love and support.

6) Now it's time for you! First refresh your makeup and hair. Then start with cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. Don't worry if the floors look clean enough because it's still best to clean them again so your family can make you eat off of them and not worry about your health.

7) Now for all the laundry you must gather from each room in the house and start washing. Never dry them in a dryer. That is a waste of money when you can spend time hanging them on an outside line for the fresh air scent. When they are finished drying you will bring them in, sprinkle them with a little water and roll them in a tight ball so you can iron it all the next day. Make sure to keep it all in the laundry room out of sight of the husband and kid's. They deserve a relaxed life.

8) Next pick up the living room, bedroom, and all other rooms in the house. Dust everything within an inch of it's life and vacuum all floors. Now clean the bathroom and scrub every surface for the fresh clean smell. You would never want your family to see anything disgusting in your bathroom and you really don't want the neighbors to inspect your work when they come to visit.

9) Well, it's time for a break. Make yourself a light lunch of salad, no dressing and an apple. Don't want to lose the figure you had the day you got married. You know, when you were 18 years old, 2 less kids, one less husband and 20 less years! While you are eating you can watch your favorite soap opera while darning the socks of the whole family or creating lovely clothes by hand or polishing all the stainless steel you own. Never let the grass grow under your pretty high heels! Be productive while relaxing.

10) The kids will be home from school soon so you must make sure you have made a batch of home made cookies with plenty of butter and sugar. A big glass of chocolate milk and their favorite TV shows while they do their homework.
You will be making dessert for tonight, putting the dinner to cook of ham, fresh peeled and mashed potatoes, fresh green beans with bacon, more biscuits and lots of butter!

11) Now all you have to do before hubby gets home from work is set the table, clean the rooms again, make the kids clean up and look cute as pie, refresh yourself with a new dress and different shoes. Evening hair do, nice makeup, a happy smile and NO complaints about anything.

12) As he walks in the door you hand him the paper, his favorite drink, ask how his day went and then leave him alone for 30 minutes while you finish dinner, get it on the table and quietly announce it's time to eat.
After he and the kids finish dinner you clear the table, wash all the dishes by hand, dry them and put them away, clean the kitchen again and look perky!

13) The family watches TV together or plays a game, eats more dessert and then wanders off to bed.
Now it's time for you to go to the bedroom, turn down the covers, fluff the pillows, take a quick shower and put on a pretty nightie, put on fresh makeup, do your hair again down this time and call for hubby to come to bed. You read while he relaxes and when he is ready for a little fun you will be just as ready and excited he is giving you his time. Oh,oh...he is tired now and finished. He rolls over, goes to sleep and you slip away to the bathroom to put on fresh makeup in case he wakes in the middle of the night and sees your face. You must always look your very best!

14) Ahhh... peace at last. Now for the well deserved 4 hours of sleep before you do it all over again.
Tomorrow is ironing day, baking bread day, going to the store day for anything the family wants and you will do it all as the lovely, skinny bride you were 20 years ago and with a smile on your pretty little face. After all you don't have to hold a job and support the family.
Where are those bonbon' s?
 
 
And yes friends, this is a joke...please do not be offended if this is the lifestyle that you live. 

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What Denomination Is Your Bra?

What denomination is your bra?
A man walked into the lingerie department of a major department store and shyly approached one of the staff. “Excuse me,” he said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asked the saleswoman.

“Type?” asked the man. “You mean there is more than one type of bra?”

“Of course!” exclaimed the saleswoman. “Look around.” And she pointed to a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable.

“But actually,” she continued, “there are really only four types to choose from.”

Relieved, the man enquired about the four types.

The saleswoman explained: “There are Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian and Anglican types.”
Befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The saleswoman replied: “It is quite simple, really. The Catholic type supports the masses; the Methodist type lifts the fallen; the Presbyterian type keeps them upright and straight; and the Anglican type makes mountains out of molehills.”

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Playin' Piano

Playin' Piano

Spooky Campfire Tales(excerpted from Spooky Campfire Tales)
retold by S.E. Schlosser

Dah-dah-dum-dum-BLAT! 
      Charlie winced when his wife hit the wrong note on the piano for the thirty-second time that day.  He knew it was the thirty-second time because he’d kept count as he went about his daily chores, cleaning the lighthouse, checking the supplies, mending the rowboat.       

Charlie blamed himself for his wife's latest obsession.  He should never have taken Myrtle to attend the concert when that high-flutin’ concert pianist came to town.  But it was a special occasion and everyone they knew was going.  So Charlie and Myrtle went too.  And Myrtle decided right then and there that what she wanted more than life itself was to play the piano.      

 Charlie tried to talk her out of it.  No one in Myrtle’s family was any good at music.  But Myrtle was stubborn.  If she couldn’t find a dad-gum way, she’d make one!  Before Charlie could count to ten she’d bought a cheap, used piano (that was always out of tune) and hauled it over to the island on her brother Jamie’s fishing boat.  From that day on, it was practice, practice, practice.  Morning, noon, and night Myrtle sat at the piano with her piano book open, plunking away at the keys.  At first, there was not much to hear, and Charlie could ignore the sour sounds.  But after a few months, she got better…and a lot worse.  There were parts of her song that sounded pretty good; but she never, ever got that one line right.         

There was nowhere on the small island that Charlie could go to get away from the sound of the piano, even when he sat in his favorite rocker out in the woodshed with cotton in his ears.  Myrtle’s new hobby was the source of much contention between the husband and wife, who had never argued before in their entire lives.  Now they argued every day about Myrtle’s piano playing.       

“At least try to learn another song,” Charlie begged his wife.  But Myrtle was stubborn.  “I ain’t going to learn another song until I’ve mastered this one.  You’ve got to practice to get better Charlie.”  And Myrtle went back to her piano and started playing again.  Dah-dah-dum-dum-BLAT/ Dum-dum-BLAT-BLAT-ding.       

Things came to a head the day a nor’easter roared down on the island.  Charlie and Myrtle were holed up together in the lighthouse hour after hour after hour.  Charlie had nothing to do but sit and carve decoy ducks.  And Myrtle played the piano.  Hour after hour after hour.  Around four p.m. Charlie leapt to his feet and shouted at his wife to stop playing the blasted song.  Myrtle leapt to her feet and shouted that she was going to practice until she got it right.      

Something in Charlie snapped.  Afterward, he felt bad about the way he chopped up the piano with his axe.  After all, it was a valuable instrument.  Try as he might, he couldn’t feel bad about doing the same to Myrtle.      

Charlie put on his oilskins, took up a shovel and dug a grave out back of the woodshed.  He buried all the little pieces of Myrtle with all the little pieces of her piano.  He figured she would have wanted it that way.  That night, with the nor’easter raging and pounding the island and the lighthouse rattling and shaking wildly in the blast, Charlie got the best sleep he’d had in months. 

No more piano playing, ever.       

After the nor’easter blew itself out, Charlie spent the rest of the day cleaning the blood off the floor and walls of the lighthouse.  After that, he did his daily duties and carefully noted in the log-book that Myrtle had been swept out to sea by a huge wave while patrolling the beaches, helping Charlie look for shipwrecks.        

In the middle of the night, Charlie was startled awake by a familiar sound.  Dah-dah-dum-dum-BLAT/ Dum-dum-BLAT-BLAT-ding.  He sat bolt upright with an oath.  It sounded just like Myrtle playing on the piano.  This was impossible, since she was buried behind the woodshed.      

Charlie leapt out of bed and felt around for his axe.  Blast!  He must have left it in the woodshed.  He picked up a large piece of firewood and carefully stepped through the door into the main room.  To his astonishment, he saw a glowing green, translucent piano standing in the place where Myrtle had put it.  The keys of the ghostly piano were playing all by themselves.  Dah-dah-dum-dum-BLAT/ Dum-dum-BLAT-BLAT-ding.     

Then he heard Myrtle’s voice from the stairway leading up to the light.  “Charlie.  I told you and I told you.  I ain’t going to learn another song until I’ve mastered this one.  You should have listened to me!”    

Charlie whirled around and gazed up the stairs.  Standing a third of the way up was the translucent white figure of his dead wife.  And in her hands, she held his axe. 

Heath Bar Pie

1 box vanilla wafers
1 cup evaporated milk
1/2 gallon vanilla ice cream
1/2 cup Karo Syrup
7 Heath Bars
dash salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/4 cup butter
Line 9 x 13 pan with whole vanilla wafers. Pack half of ½ gallon carton of vanilla ice cream on top of wafers. Crumble four Heath Bars over ice cream. Put remaining ice cream on top. Freeze.
Sauce: Combine, sugar, milk, syrup, salt and butter. Bring to boil for one minute. Crumble three remaining Heath Bars. Add to sauce, let melt. Serve warm over ice cream pie.

Bratty Melts

1 lb ground sirloin or chuck
1 lb of uncooked brats
slab of cheddar cheese slices
one sliced Vidalia onion
Butter
loaf of Texas toast
Separate the casing and meat of the brats, and mix the brat meat with the ground beef. Discard the brat casing. Slap the mixed meat into 1/4 lb patties. Grill the patties to your liking. While grilling, "butter" the spread onto one side the Texas toast slices. Make a sandwich with the sliced Vidalia, cheddar, cooked patties, and toast slice (with the buttered side on the outside of the sandwich). Throw a pan on the grill and grill the sandwiches in the pan, so the butter "fries" the toast. Cook both sides of the sandwich until Old Golden brown. I eat my melts with mayo and ketchup, but I'm a condiment slut.

The BIGGEST football game of the season!!!



Round 3 of the Playoffs
Friday, November 5 , 2010
 7:00pm Ameche Field
Tickets are $4
The Tremper football team defeated Muskego 24-10 in a Level 2 WIAA Division-1 game Saturday, 10/30/10  at Ameche Field.


The Bradford football team defeated Lake Geneva Badger 54-24 in a WIAA Division-1 Level 2 game at Jaskwhich Stadium on Saturday afternoon.

so what does this mean?

The biggest, the baddest football game of the season for Kenosha HS Football Fans!!!!!!